I Want My Ex Back

A lot of guys will want to learn the skills of a pick-up artist in order to meet plenty of women. Their motivation might be to take their seduced women to bed or to have a short-term relationship with them. But the one situation that all men find themselves in, no matter talented they might be when it comes to seducing a woman, is that they fall in love.

The idea of falling in love with the woman we seduce barely crosses the mind of student pick-up artists. They often view love as an impossibility or something that they will be able to control or avoid. But avoidance doesn’t work. Love happens to all of us. Look at Neil Strauss, best-selling author of The Game. Look at the main character, the infamous Mystery, who goes nearly crazy… as a result of the woman he loves. See, love happens whether we want it to or not.

The problem that all men have, whether they are into seducing a woman or not, is how to keep that woman they love. Nearly all men who have met their “love” by picking them up and employing the tactics learnt through books or live courses do not possess the skills necessary to maintain that relationship. The reason is simple; they have naively bought into the alpha male ideology. They know how to be self-centered, but they don’t know how to appreciate their woman. And even if they are intelligent enough to realize the importance of appreciation, they are often able to maintain an appropriate level of appreciation.

The point is, after seducing a woman, a lot of men don’t know where to take their relationship. This is quite normal as all relationships experience an array of shifts. The first shift goes from “new and exciting” to “comfortable.” This comfortable stage becomes a challenge because it implies little work is required to keep the magic alive. This is farthest from the truth. While it will be nearly impossible to replicate the high level of excitement that might have allowed the in-love man to seduce his love, there are techniques that will help keep the “love” alive.

The first thing we can do is learn more about appreciation. While both men and women crave appreciation, neither of us is good at doing it. This doesn’t need to be complication or elaborate, either. From thanking her for a small, random gift or showing appreciation for even a failed attempt at dinner, appreciation is vital. Once we stop appreciating, we run the risk of making her feel neglected and she will look elsewhere for this.

A second vital tactic is excitement. This is more difficult in the comfort stage, but remember that it need not reach the same levels or grandeur as in the initial stages of the relationship. In fact, an occasional adventure once every two or three weeks can keep the relationship fresh enough to make her want to stick around for the “next” spontaneous event.

Changing from a man who is good at seducing a woman to a man who is great at keeping a woman happy is not necessarily an easy one. But the fact that love is now part of the relationship makes the change worthwhile. Just don’t forget that the woman you seduced fell in love with you for who you were — the exciting, adventurous man who made her feel like a queen. Keep that in mind and you will not suffer the fate of many other pick-up artists when it comes to the woman you fall in love with.